(Note: This column should be read in the style of a ‘90s infomercial.)
Are you sick and tired of spending your hard-earned time and energy browsing the stacks at your local library? Are you constantly looking up titles on your phone, bumbling and tripping over your shoelaces while carrying heavy stacks of books through the aisles only to get home and find out you read them already? Fed up with worrying about Covid restrictions and generally just afraid to go out in public? Worry no longer with the latest and greatest in book-getting technology – Book Bundles… To Go!
All you have to do is visit www.hamiltonlibrary.org, click the link on our homepage, and answer some basic questions like “who are you?” and “what kind of book/reading level?” If that sounds like too much work, we even have a few bundles pre-made for you right now! This is the perfect solution for parents who worry about what their kid is doing behind their back, and for non-parents who want to find their new favorite author! For those hesitant due to the threat of Coronavirus, all books in our collection are disinfected daily AND quarantined for six days upon their return.
After your bundle is made, we’ll bag ‘em up, check them out to you, and schedule a time for you to pick them up. That pickup can either be in-library, curbside, or if you prefer, we’ll take them right to your house! Nervous these bundles are too big? You set the size of the bundle! Anywhere from one to six books counts.
Now you might be wondering, “sure, Travis. This all sounds great, but what is this gonna cost me?” Fear not, dear patron, the services I outlined above can be yours for four easy payments of Free Ninety-Nine! Best of all, if you don’t like the books we choose for you, we have a free return policy on any books you receive. All you have to do is place those unwanted books in our book drop and we’ll handle the rest! Just be sure to also return books you liked.
You never know what we have in stock, so act now before this offer expires!